Joining my fears to Christ.

Greetings fellow pilgrims!

This evening we had a holy hour at the Church of All Nations, or the Church of Gethsemane. It is the Catholic Church at the base of the Mount of Olives, where Christ prayed the night before His Passion. We took the bus down the hill from from the Old City, and came to the church. It closes around 5:00 pm, so when we got there at 5:30 pm, one of the Franciscan friars let us in. We walked past the shadowy grove of olive trees, some of which may go back to the time of Christ. We filed quietly into the church and sat around the sanctuary. In the middle is a big rock which was the center of Byzantine church.

Then we just sat there quietly and prayed for an hour. We didn't have a program... just quiet time. It was pretty cold, but I was well bundled in wool from my family. After a little silence, I prayed evening prayer - St. Antony the Abbot today, who was one of the founders of monasticism. I prayed for many people, especially the monks of Holy Transfiguration Skete, in Eagle Harbor.

After mulling over the breviary slowly, I read the Gethsemane passages from all four gospels. Praying over them in light of preparing for priesthood, I was struck by how Jesus struggled and gave Himself over completely to the Father's will. I don't look at the priesthood as a cross or a bitter cup, rather a privilege, a gift, a joy, a pearl of great price. But I also know there will be suffering, as in any vocation, any life. I asked myself in prayer, looking at the mosaic of Christ praying, looking at the stone, what are my fears? What suffering do I fear, what failure, what pain? As things came to mind, I offered them to Christ, putting them in His hands. His grace is sufficient, His measure is filled up, tamped down, flowing over.

Jesus, I trust in you.

Ben